“It’s really starting to get to me and I’m not sure how to handle it because I can’t remember ever letting anything get to me before. I can’t remember ever feeling this fucking vulnerable.”—Jason Myers - Exit Here (via saygoodbyetoyoursanity)
“I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing… Both of us could survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. And you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work… I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you.”—John Lennon (via friedarose)
“The really interesting thing about achieving some of your goals in life is you realize that dreams are possible and they’re attainable and once you reach some of these goals, you’re more likely to try to reach others. I always tell people who ask me about things like this, that you have a good chance at making some of your wildest dreams come true. Most people don’t even try, sadly. Most people try and stop or give up. Very few people try and try and try or do and do and do and never give up. Those are the people that ultimately succeed and win.”—Jared Leto (via kkeywilldisappear)
“Sometimes the things that are felt the most are expressed between two souls over the distance and over time…where no words abide. And others may speak freely, live with one another freely, express themselves freely–just like everyone else, but then there is you… you have no words for proof of reassurance, no tokens of professed love, but you have something. Something worth keeping.”—C. JoyBell C. - Saint Paul Trois Ch Teaux: 1948 (via beyondcloudnine)
“If anything or anyone distresses you, think how you’ll feel a week - a month - a year later. If you can imagine yourself being happy and peaceful then, why waste all that time? Be happy and peaceful now.”—Swami Kriyananda (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
today is a beautiful day, the past two days not so much. There are many things in life I will never understand, people are one those things. I will never get why people act they way they do, if how you treat others is so damaging to them don’t you want to change? people are blinded to their own faults they always turn their head when it comes to themselves. Those are the people that never change, and will never grow to better themselves. I’ve learned from people like them to never be that way.
This is what I would say to you:
I am hurt and upset that its gotten this bad between us. 21 years of built up frustration, fear, not being good enough is how I feel. I do not know if things will ever change because I am afraid. I am afraid to even try because every time I get hurt. It confuses me who you are, because all i ever see is the angry person who’s frustrated with me. Every time I do something its always wrong to you, you see every flaw and never the good in me. It breaks me down every time, and I loose myself to it. I become so upset so fragile I forget who I am. It brings me back to the place I dont want to be. I am not the same girl when I am around you. You shatter my self-esteem and demean me. I know thats not what your intensions are but thats what your actions show and its too much for me. I’ve dealt the best way I can but I cannot do this anymore. I know who I am and how I want to be treated. Better yet I know I should never be treated that way. I am not those things you make me feel, I am tired of feeling insecure, lost and afraid to live my life. What I want to be is the confident girl, the strong girl who has fun and knows how to enjoy life. And what you have to see, is that its hard for me to be like this when I am around you because you have never supported this side of me. You have only taught me to be the fragile broke girl. You’ve enabled my weaknesses when you should have been nurturing my strengths. What i need is support. I am not talking about the kind of materialism support. I am so lucky and appreciated of that. But what I am saying is i need the emotional support. Dont tell me what you think I’m doing wrong, instead be there to guide me through what ever obstacle it is I may face. Be my friend not my enemy. I am sensitive yelling and cussing is never how you should approach me or anyone else in life. Be the person you want to meet. Set the example of what kind of man you want your daughters to marry. Treat me with respect you talk to me like I am beneath you not only me you talk to mom the same way. I see it and it hurts me because I know mom hasnt learned to be strong enough to stand up for herself as i try to do. I know its not right and you know that its not right, thats not the person you want to be dont let your anger get the best of you. turn that negative energy into something positive. Life is about learning and loving the people who are in your life. What I have learned is once they are gone thats it. you have one chance to make things right. To do the best you can, maybe its not what you think is best but if its best for someone else then do it. Put them first before yourself.I have done my best in following the path you have laid out for me but as I grow up maybe my choices arnt the ones you saw for me. And thats fine let go of your plan and let me wander. Just because I wander does not mean I will get lost. I need to grow up and do things my way and if your there for me you will support me, to the best you can because this..whatever it is…is not working. I need change. I need time. and space. I am at the point in my life where I’m trying to grow and find myself. What i see myself as is not the hurt girl. Its going to be the strong, caring successful person I want myself to be.